Hoooray!

Guess who just sent her manuscript to Stan, the 'Amazing Agent'? ME!!!

That's right. In spite of packing an entire apartment in two weeks, chasing two toddlers all over the place, minimal sleep, and various other complicating factors, I got it whipped into shape and sent it off only an hour ago!

Thanks to my fabulous readers (aka, Mom, Dad, and my brother) most of the slip-ups, grammatical errors, and story-holes have been taken care of. If I do say so myself, it's not bad.

Of course, it's not done yet. Stan has to read through and okay it. I still have to write a new synopsis and update my query and bio. It's all good. My husband and I decided years ago that we would celebrate every step in this process as we took it.

Sometimes celebrating means going out to dinner or getting a massage. Just at this moment, it means cuddling my boys on the couch and making chicken and fries for dinner. Whatever works, right?

Hooray for me!

Conspiring

I swear, sometimes it feels like everything is conspiring against my finishing this book! I'm so close--just an edit and a final read-through--another month at most.

So why is this sounding impossible?

Well, we've been trying to buy a house for over a year and we've put so many offers out there, I think I'd given up on ever finding anything. A month ago we put an offer in on one of our favorite houses, but I didn't think much of it. Imagine my surprise when it turns out we're looking at moving in around Thanksgiving weekend! One month away.

Added to that, my kids are both sick, I promised a friend of mine a baby shower in the next month or two, the holidays are coming, and there are other things I am not at liberty to discuss that might make everything a bit harder around here.

Well, humph! In spite of all these complicated, but very important things, I AM GOING to get this done. So there.

It's not that much, really. If I buckle down in the evenings, I can do it pretty quickly.

All right, so here's hoping my next entry announces the manuscript is on its way to Stan!

Ah HA!

I figured it out!

Here I've been over the last week or two, struggling with the knowledge that Wielder was not coming together and completely lost as to why! This is not a nice feeling.

It wasn't even Writer's Block--I WISH I could have blamed it on something so simple. No, the problem was much worse. I had tons of ideas, but none of them fixed the problem. I've been outlining, sketching, and discussing it with everyone I know and, finally, last night (Well, I guess this morning, actually--2 AM to be precise) I sat down with my husband and we hashed it out. At first (after an hour and half of debate), I was no closer to a solution.

And then it came...

The ending--my beloved, carefully crafted ending--had to be rewritten. I mean, toss out 90% of it and start over. Once I admitted this, I relaxed and passed out from exhaustion--only to be woken at 4 AM by my oldest toddler (spider nightmare--yuck!).

Not much sleep under my belt, but I couldn't be happier. I know what to do--such sweet words! So, there it is--not long now and this will be ready to go!

Edits...Again

Well, I did it--I finished my big overhaul! I actually finished a few days ago, but I've been on break. I am now outlining and planning my next edits (the ending, for example, isn't quite satisfying enough).

Other edits include: reviewing each character for consistency, interesting details, and relationship arcs. I'd also like to trim it by a few pages--or more. It's 400 pages! I know there are longer books out there, but it feels too long. I might be wrong, of course. It might be just right. I''ll have to read it through a few times to make sure.

So, though I've made huge progress here, I'm not done yet. The biggest difference is the level of editing. What I just finished was a 'pull-it-apart-and-put-it-back-together-again'--interesting, but time-consuming and exhausting. Now I get to fine-tooth-comb it, which I enjoy very much!

Today is the last day of my 'break' and tomorrow the work begins again in earnest. The goal is to have it in Stan's hands by, or before, Thanksgiving.

Good luck to me and everyone else up to their eyeballs in edits!

Nothin' But Time

Nearly there!

In the completion of what I think will be the best version of Wielder yet, I have mapped out what I have left to do and how long it should take. It helps me to have a goal, but unless I have a major deadline, I like to pace myself.

Here is my writing schedule as I predict it:
Finish major rewrite: two days
Break to ponder and outline a little: three days
Edit main character: three days
Edit minor characters: Week and a half to two weeks
Break to get a little perspective: two days
Read through one last time to catch any minor oopses or weak points: four days
Hand over to one or two trusted readers: two weeks

Total: just under 6 weeks (this is an outside figure, of course. I'll bet myself a pint of chocolate Haagen Dazs I can get it done in less time!)

When this schedule is complete, it will be handed over to my honored agent for a final reading, but I dare not assign Stan a time-limit. He is far too busy to put everything else aside just to read my latest manuscript! (but, from experience, I'm guessing about 2 weeks)

Once I've made his changes, he will shop it around and that's where time loses all meaning. As all the writing world knows, Publishers must and will take their time over your work--and rightly so! I don't want MY book passed over because their just wasn't enough time!

And so, here we go!

Should or Shouldn't?

I read somewhere that you should always write--even if you don't want to--even you don't feel inspired at all. Well, I decided a few weeks ago that this theory is flawed. There are times you (or, more specifically, I) shouldn't write.

So here is my list of Times you Should and Times you Shouldn't. Follow or not as suits you best, fellow writers.

When you Should:

-if you feel inspired.
-if you have a deadline.
-if you don't have a deadline.
-if you want to.
-if you want to finish your novel.
-if you don't really feel like it, but still have a clear head and time to get 'involved'.

When you Shouldn't:

-if you are trying to write something cheerful, but are feeling angry, depressed, picked-on, etc.
-if you are on medication that impairs your mind and ability to be coherent.
-if you should be focusing on something else (i.e. your job, your children, driving, kissing your significant other, sleeping, etc.)
-if you don't want to finish your novel.
-if you really hate writing, but someone else thinks you should.
-if you wake up at three in the morning with a 'brilliant' idea, but you have to be up by 6 with your kids, job, and/or other commitment.

I guess the moral of the blog post today is: writing is marvelous, beautiful, satisfying, and even, sometimes, your job. But it isn't your life. Sometimes you shouldn't be writing. Sometimes you should be living and doing other things.

For me personally, writing is a disease--a lovely, pleasant disease--that would consume me and all my time, if I let it, but I don't. And I believe my writing is better for it.

What do you think? When 'Should' you write? When Shouldn't you?

Worth it

As I revise 'The Wielder' for the hundredth time, I stop now and then and consider--five years of work on one book and not done yet (well, five years off and on, plus a dozen other projects, including two other novels, two children, another job, and travel).

The point is, is it worth it? All this effort and time--why can't I let go of this one?

The funny part is that I've always considered myself a 'mystery writer'. YA fantasy, while fun to read, is not a genre I ever seriously considered. I didn't have a ton of experience (emphasis on DIDN'T) and mystery is my first love.

The reason 'The Wielder' is GOING to get done is because I have a deep-gut feeling that it must be worth it.

I wonder how many writers go through this. I've heard some edit and edit and finally discard the novel in progress, realizing it's a dead end. I've also heard of writers who spend their whole lives writing one book and never finish.

Oh, I hope I fall somewhere in between.

I guess what it comes down to is that I love this book. I love every single version its been through and it gets better every time. So, there you go--it's already worth it.

Mind v. Body

Sometimes (okay, a LOT of times these days) I'm up until 1 or 2 in the morning working on my edits. I enjoy it so much--the quiet (kids asleep and no one calling) and the opportunity to really bury myself in the story.

Of course, once I'm done for the night I have to follow it up with a light book or movie--something to help my brain wind down from its writing high. This usually works. Sometimes it doesn't.

Two nights ago, I finished my chapters around 1:30 then pulled out "Cold Comfort Farm" (fabulous light reading!!!) for half an hour. When my eyes were swollen with sleep, I gave up and headed upstairs. Fell into bed just after 2 AM and turned off the light. SO ready to sleep.

And then it hit me.

Chapters 10 and 11 were all wrong. Really wrong. I mean, throw out half of it and insert a totally new and incredibly VITAL scene. Out with the dull and unnecessary blah. The new scene would be intense, thrilling, and I knew exactly how it would play out. How did I not see this before? HOW?

And why did it have to hit me at 2 in the morning?

You can guess what happened. I know you can. Oh yes. I laid awake for anther half hour--eyes wide open again--planning, outlining, working out little details. At 2:30 I had a choice: get up and write the wretched scene (and give up an entire night's sleep, of course) or put it away and do it right the next day.

I weighed the options: sleep and sanity v. the realization of an epiphany. The eternal conflict--Body v. Mind.

Who won? Well, both, in the end, but at that critical moment--Body. I went to sleep and survived the next day. I did not, in fact, get a chance to write the new scene until today. Poor Mind had to wait two days to make its magic.

I think it was worth it, however. See, sometimes an idea that seems Life-altering and Brilliant at 2 AM turns out to be Blah and Foolish just a few hours of sleep later. In hindsight, retreat was definitely the right choice and I'm glad I did.

Don't be fooled. My 2 AM idea was every bit as amazing as I'd hoped. EVERY BIT. But it might not have been and sitting on it for two days confirmed it for me. Also, having a fresh brain made the writing that much easier and the resulting chapter that much better.

Yay, Inspiration! I love you! I couldn't get by without you!
Now, go buy a watch.

Better than Ever!

You know, with each rewrite I lose at least one of my favorite scenes--but I replace it with one I like even better, so it's hard to complain. Actually, 'lose' is the wrong word. I keep a copy of every draft, just for reference, so I keep everything. I just don't use it all right now.

Some of those scenes will be pushed to later books in the same series. Some will make it into other, more relevant books or stories. Some will never be used at all, but I enjoyed writing them and I'm happy knowing they served their purpose--to help me survive yet another rewrite.

Seriously, the newest draft (nearly halfway through it now) is truly better than ever. Almost unrecognizable as the same book, but better--MUCH better. Oddly enough, I don't know if it's any better written, but the story is tighter and more thrilling. The characters have a distinct arc and flavor. Their issues are relevant and they make me laugh or cry or get mad just as they are supposed to. I worry about them and try to help them when I can, but they're off on their own again, running the story their own way.

Lucky for me, they seem to be keeping to the outline so far.

I'll tell you something. To my great surprise, I'm really enjoying this rewrite. Some chapters don't need much adjusting and some have been tossed and written from scratch. I don't know which is more fun!

The hardest part of any rewrite--I mean the hardest, HARDEST part--is starting it. It's that moment where you stare down at your manuscript and think, 'this is going to take forever! I'm never going to finish this!' That attitude will cripple you for sure.

I find the best way to get past this is to start. The next step is to set realistic goals. You are not going to rewrite a 350 page book in one day, or even one week. Not WELL anyway. You might check it for spelling in that time, I guess, but you're not going to tear it apart and put it back together coherently. You shouldn't try.

I like to set the goal at a chapter or two a day. Sometimes I can get three or four done and sometimes I can't get past a page or two. Sometimes I just need a break--I take one night off a week and spend it with my husband and kids. Or a real break--two or three days to outline and think--then it's back to the keyboard. In no time, you'll look down and realize you're a third of the way through or halfway done or flat out finished!

It's a heady rush, but don't get ahead of yourself. When you've finished your overhaul, best thing you can do is to pass it on to a trusted reader or two. You can and will make mistakes, leave gaping holes, and forget important details. Your readers will catch these and then you're good for a while.

Until the next time your agent hands it back, ready for another make-over.
[Don't worry, Stan, I'm SO okay with it if you do. In fact, I'm expecting it (; ]

Just keep your chin up, writers! Success stories only come to those who are too darn stubborn to give up, even when the pile of drafts and rejections gets taller than they are. Or so I've heard--I'm still working toward my own success story.

New Outline

I had to do it. I didn't want to. I thought I could just write this book and it would come. Well, I finished those 100 pages and realized I had it wrong. Rewrote, deleted, and ended up with 77 pages. Worth it because the 77 are better than the 100.

At that point I looked it over and realized I HAD to know exactly where I was going with each character or the story would ramble in all kinds of weird directions. Not good.

So, I took today and outlined. I used a different technique this time and I really think it was worth the time.

First I outlined the general "events" in the plot. I included who was in each scene and as much detail as I thought was important.

Next, I mapped out all the different plot threads I wanted to include. Basically, I listed each character and where they were going, their relationships, and what mattered to them. Threads that make up the tapestry.

Finally, I combed through the "events" outline, adding each "thread" one at a time. It took time, but the level of detail is great. Now I know my characters better and I get the big picture.

I think I'll probably still have to remove a few scenes, but that's where the writing process comes in. I'm curious to see what my characters think of my plan.

I'll find out tomorrow. It's not that late, but I'm so done for the night and I am going to bed.

Getting there

Well, so far, so good!

I've gotten through the first hundred pages and it's got a lot of "page-turning" quality and my heroine has a whole new set of issues. Sounds funny, doesn't it, that I want her to have issues? But it makes her someone you worry about and root for. You want her to figure it all out and be safe.

I am struggling a little pulling the themes together, but I plan to read through it a few times, so hopefully the wrinkles will iron themselves out. I find that pushing ahead works out the kinks better than outlining or worrying.

Enough for now--back to work!

Good Book v. Great Book

Are you ready for this?

Once again, I am rewriting the book. Not tossing it out and starting over, no, but pretty darn close.

Here's the scoop. My fabulous agent Stan read the manuscript and what it came down to is that The Wielder is a Good book. He likes it, but it's not quite a Great book. We talked for a while about what makes a great book and I quickly saw what he meant.

You see, a Good book has likable characters, a fun plot, decent writing, and a satisfying end. All of these are present in the book as it stands. Cool.

A Great book is something else entirely. It has themes, deep and meaningful conflict (internal and external), perfect pacing, amazing characters, and a cracker-jack ending that leaves the read demanding the sequel RIGHT NOW!

oops.

After a few days kicking myself while I was down, I got back up and started reading up on theme, conflict, etc. I brainstormed, talked to myself, got to know my characters on a whole new level, and emerged a week or two later with a complete outline and a solid grasp of what I wanted for my darling book.

I'm making pretty drastic changes to the plot. Good guys are now bad, bad guys start off good, lots more chasing, fires, excitement--you know, fun stuff. Still, the bones remain the same. The heroine is still her sparkling, quirky little self.

Argh! Editing is NOT my favorite part of this job! Yet, I love the creative process and I do like seeing the book emerge better than ever. Well, like it or not, I've got to get this done so I'm out of here for now.

See ya when I come up for air again!

Slow but Sure

You may notice I don't post entries very often. The sad reason for this is that a writer's life (at least the writing aspect of it) moves at a snail's pace. The truth is, I don't have a ton to update about.

It goes something like this: I write and edit (anywhere between ten minutes and two hours a day). I read (as often as possible--so fun!). I send copies of my work to my friendly readers and, eventually, my agent. Then I wait.

Oh, yes. That's the fun part. The waiting.

Still, I have other projects, ideas, outlines--that sort of thing. I keep busy, but for the individual project time drags.

So, my plan is to try to update this blog more often with little writing thoughts and tidbits.

For example...

I get a kick out of where I find inspiration. I got my latest idea from watching a little boy roar at a couple of little girls at the park the other day! Random. (And no, I'm not telling what the idea is--that's for my future readers to find out! Ha!)

I've gotten ideas from parties I've attended, an odd man I met at my old job, my original home town, and even my experiences as a retail salesperson. I'm inspired by people I know, people I don't know (but see everywhere around me), and people I'd like to know because I imagine them they might be interesting. A failed recipe, a silly phrase my toddler comes out with, a pretty paperweight--anything and everything will work.

Not all of my ideas pan out. Some just want to be outlined, not written. Some (oh horror) have already been done too many times. Some fade away in a few hours, but some stick and flow from my fingers effortlessly.

I didn't used to get ideas this quickly, but finishing your first novel changes the way you think. Suddenly, I see stories everywhere.

I love my job!

A Better Beginning

Once again, I have been tackling the most difficult chapter in any novel. Yes, the dreaded First Chapter. Mine has been written, rewritten, tossed out, written again, tossed out again, and so on. Such is the life of an author. (Though not yet a novelist, having completed a manuscript I think I can consider myself an author.)

Yes, I know. I just spent four months tossing out half of my manuscript and rewriting the entire plot. The book is so much better now and I love it, but I was not in love with that blasted first chapter. It felt rushed, crowded with information, and it just didn't match the rest of the book. And the worst part? Burned out on editing, I had no idea how to fix it.

Enter my brother. My truly brilliant brother read the chapter and knew immediately what I needed--a Call to Action. Meaning: a character, leading a nice, normal life, is suddenly thrust into a strange and life-altering situation. Interesting.

He said the main character was interesting and her situation was mysterious--very good, but who was she before the mysterious events took place? Why should the reader care that she is in danger? Where was she before her Call to Action? He suggested that I write yet another first chapter, this time to introduce the character and hint subtly at the mysterious events to come.

Another First Chapter!!?? NO!!!

I rebelled for approximately six days. Then I gave in. Sometimes you just have to know when to admit someone else is more right than you. Rats!

And so I did it. My darling heroine walks on the stage a little earlier than planned and, wonder of wonders, she dazzles! I love the new first chapter! Hooray for the Call to Action. Hooray for my brother.

The result? My poor, long-suffering agent has to read yet another seven pages before he decides if he likes the result. Sorry, Stan!

Or am I? Shoot, it's a fun story! Let's try this again: Have fun, Stan!

I did.

The Waiting Period

Well, I've gotten the latest version of Wielder to Stan and now comes the dreaded Waiting Period.

Here's what's going to happen: Stan is going to read it and offer a few suggestions. I will adjust the manuscript accordingly and he'll send out the first round of queries. Some will be interested, some will not, and some will never reply at all. He'll send it off to the interested editors and then we wait.

It could be up to three months before we hear from anyone.

So, the big question is--what to do with my summer? According to my husband I should take a break. From what? Breathing? Eating? Writing isn't a hobby--it's a vital part of my life.

I will, however, concede that I need a break from the Holder series. Instead of working on an outline for book 2, I'm going to treat myself to one of my mystery novel concepts.

I've got an outline, a fabulous new set of characters and I'm arranging an interview with a police officer for research. Looks like it's going to be an interesting summer break!

Wish me luck!

Here We Go Again...

It seems to me that the editing process is endless. In fact, it IS endless until the book is actually on shelves waiting to be sold.

I've been writing and editing The Wielder for almost five years now and since it isn't sold yet, I've probably got more to do.

However...

I just finished a very big edit that might have done the trick (hopefully we will find out this summer!) Basically, in the last month I tossed out half of the book and rewrote it. I changed two character names, three plot lines, and tossed out half of the end.

Whew!

The plus side: I LOVE IT!!!!! I think I may finally have hit on just the right characters, plots, and wrapped it up with the perfect ending.



I've said many times before this that I was sure I had it right, but there's a big difference this time. Before I welcomed criticism--now, it's a book I'm willing to defend. (That's not to say I won't listen to critiques, but I would fight any serious changes)

We'll see, of course. There's no knowing until an editor calls with an offer. Still, I'm sending this new draft to my agent tomorrow (after one final read-through) and we'll see what happens.

Epiphany!

You know, the first draft of this book took three years to write. Great job, everyone said. The first draft is the toughest part!

Turns out the editing process comes a close second.

First draft: 3 years
Editing: 2 years...so far!

Wow. Am I that bad a writer?

And every time I finish a big edit, I think "Yes! I finally have it! This is IT! It's done!" And the thrill lasts about five minutes...until someone else reads it.

Ouch.

I want to defend my work--I really do. I want to look the reader in the eye and say "HA! What do you know? You are missing the point and the big picture! I'm not changing a word!"

Why don't I?

Because, all to often, they're right. They know it. I know it. I'd be stupid to ignore their criticism. How else could I get better? How is my book supposed to become "great" if I can't take good advice?

It's bitter sweet, really. I want to be a great writer--who doesn't? I want to be good enough that I don't care what everyone else thinks. I want to say "Who is writing this book anyway?!"

But I also want my books to be the absolute best they can be. Which means, when someone edits my book--no, rips it apart--and I know, deep down, that they're right--I HAVE to fix it.

I suppose it's a mixture of ego and humility. You have to have a certain amount of ego to believe you can write something millions will pay to enjoy. But you also have to be able to take the criticism that goes with the job.

Heck, I'm not even published yet and it already hurts!

Yet, in spite of the pain...here I go again--Epiphany! I couldn't quit if I wanted to. I can make it better. I have to make it better than better.

I'm not going to quit until it's the best it can be.

The One Thing

I am learning that while publishers will forgive some weaknesses (pacing, length, even a few technical errors), the one thing they cannot work with is poor character design.

And it makes sense really.

As a first-time novelist, I have many thousands of things to learn about writing a book, and I can take criticism--I can. But as my many (very patient) editors have torn The Wielder apart, the one thing they couldn't really help with is, you guessed it, character design.

How could they? They had no idea how to 'fix' the people I wrote about. It isn't their job. It's MY job to people my little world with likable, believable personalities.

It's odd, really, because as a mystery writer, I'm usually very good at characters. But I think when I wrote Wielder I made the 'New World' my main character. Oops. The setting should never be the main character--unless you're writing a travel-log.

The moral of the story? If you can't write a good character--don't bother. That doesn't seem like a positive, encouraging moral, does it?

Okay, let's try this: characters drive the story--end of story.

My book is a YA fantasy about jewelry and "magic" powers, right? Sort of, but that's the filling. (yummy cream filling, but still just filling)

It's really about three young cousins, each with their own neurosis, who learn to trust each other and understand that if you don't choose your path, life will choose it for you.

Good to know.

But do you see why, if the characters are poorly written, everything else falls apart?

And this is why I just spent the last month and a half painstakingly rewriting each of those three cousins and giving them life and sparkle.

Now I just have to cross my fingers that I can write interesting, likable characters.

Here we go again. :)

Still Waiting

It hasn't been a month yet since the book went out and (of course) we're still waiting. It took me a few weeks to stop thinking about it constantly. Another few days after that before I could really feel the creative juices flowing. And now I've finally reached the point where I can enjoy writing again.

You know, I've read writers' accounts where they say "Just keep writing through the slumps!" or "write every day, even if you don't feel like it." That's fine, if that helps you.

That didn't work so well for me.

I write because I love to. In the weeks following the submission, I didn't love to anymore. I needed a break.

I did, however, do a lot of reading. I DO recommend that. Reading keeps your thoughts on the written word while allowing you to rest your brain.

I'm back to work now, but I'm working on other projects:
Three other novels ideas and the outline for Book 2

I'm excited to hear about The Wielder, but life goes on. I'd rather the Editors took their time and made a thoughtful decision about my book (even if it means rejection), than rushed through and rejected it without a decent reading.

The your time, Editors! I've got plenty!

Submission--Round 2

Well, the manuscript fell into the hands of editors at five exceptional publishing houses yesterday and now begins the big wait. Last time we sent it out we waited 2 months only to find out none of them had read it yet!

So, here we go again.

You know, the minute I found out my agent had sent it off, I just KNEW the book was garbage. I KNEW I had no business submitting anything. It didn't matter that my agent was in love with the book or that only 24 hours before I was very happy with it.

This self-doubt disease drops in every time I commit myself to something. It lasts about a day.

So now, having recovered from that temporary pity-party, the question is what to do with myself for the next few months.

First, I think I'll take a few days off and nurse this blasted cold!

Then, when I get the writing itch again (expected in the next few days) I'll begin a first draft of book 2 "The Healer". Of course this means research, outlines, character reviews, and deciding on a fabulous, irresistible beginning.

I love my job!

With luck, I might be able to get a good start on book 2 before we get the next round of replies. Heck, I might even have a full draft before we find a publisher.

The most important thing to do these next few months is keep busy and remember why I write--because I have to. I'm addicted.

Death of the Research Babies

One of the most painful parts of the editing process is cutting what they call "your babies".

For some this means sections or scenes that they love. The writer enjoyed creating it and believes it to be the best work they have ever done--yet some critic wants them to cut it for the sake of the work as a whole.

I don't mind that. I cut the scene without regret--saving it elsewhere for another project someday in the future. No problem.

For me "babies" are the parts I researched. And I don't mean thirty minutes of Googling. I mean weeks, if not months, of reading, interviewing, and detailed note-taking.

Hundreds of hours of my life spent learning about the Ceremony of the Keys at the Tower of London, plus military protocol and modern weaponry. Why did I learn all of these things? For a prologue that was scrapped because it "had nothing to do with the rest of the book." True? Yes. Was I right to toss it? Absolutely!

But I am left with a slight ouch when I think of the time I put into it.

Other topics I lived and breathed for no reason at all?
Photography
French grammar
The Louvre

The funniest part? As painful as these lost "babies" seem, it's so worth it when you see the finished product and realize how much better it is without the researched gunk.

My manuscript is still, yes STILL, doing the rounds with publishers. But I just finished trimming it down and we're sending it out fresh and new this week. I don't know if it'll sell this time. You can't know for sure until it happens.

But I'm proud of my book. It's beautiful. It's magic. Before I cut the "babies" away, it was good. Now it's something special.

Let's see if we can convince a publisher that I'm right!